You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
