He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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