Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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