His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
