I will die if light touches me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
