ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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