Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
