used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
