I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
someone owes me an orgasm
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
