you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
