can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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