ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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