I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
worst night to have a conscience
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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