Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
