I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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