okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I need moral support for this bender
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize