This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
