Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
