Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
