My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
