Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
