You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
