but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
