I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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