TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
