dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
