NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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