We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
