I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
