So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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