You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to calm my uterus...
how drunk are you?
Several
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
