love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
