and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
high people should be assigned attendants
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
