this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
