If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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