He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
