his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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