do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
