walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
