: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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