Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
