Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Randomize
