you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
