Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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