I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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