I cut my penus on the lid.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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