i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
