Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
