ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
