OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
