we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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