then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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