she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
